Our complex relationships

A Human Relationship? What does that mean? In literal sense of words, it's basically the way two people are linked or interact with each other; but to us it's all just too messed up! Talking about the dynamics of relationships, most often it's about the two involved. So, in order to get a better understanding of the relationships, the most important and the foremost step is getting a good understanding of our self, because the only person we can be sure of, is our own self😌 and no matter how much of an ardent lover you might be, you are still crazy enough to think that you can change a person with your love, as bitter as it sounds, you can't change anyone, so at the end the only person you are left with, is yourself, so we better be focusing on changing that. 

The first and the most favorite thing we all do here is forming relations with little or no wisdom to sustain those. And this system started as soon as we stepped on this planet, we were introduced to a superabundant set of relations viz. the one with our parents, then siblings, grandparents, maternal and paternal relatives, friends & after a certain point in time, a love or a life partner & the list never ends. Nevertheless the amount of impact these relations have on us and the way they shape us is significant.

The biggest problem our gen faces with any kind of relationship is the way we communicate and our efforts. Keep reading along and I will tell you how we do that.👀

Any possible companionship can wither over time due to lack of communication, proper time and effort. Just like a seed or a plant🪴 needs the right amount of water, sunlight & oxygen to grow into a beautiful tree and bear fruits, Likewise, human relations also need proper nourishment of love, attention, time & care to flourish into beautiful bonds of a lifetime. The bond with our parents in life is the most precious & special one, so it definitely needs a special mention, so we will begin with that but this formula is applicable to probably all remaining relationships that I might not mention.

🠊To begin with, the very first relation a human being knows is one with his/her parents. Any kind of conflict, trauma or lack of communication and affection during childhood plays a crucial role in shaping us as an adult and how we show and receive love in later parts of our lives. If we ever come across  a question on how much do we love our parents, without a second thought we know it's unbounded and infinite, but how often do we put an effort to let them know that we also love and care for them. Not just on mother's day, father's day or their birthdays🎂, there's more to it. See, the logic lies in the fact that these days specified are already special for them, but what matters is making them feel special on any random day, and the love we show does not lie in the grand gestures, because that's unrequited and honestly you will have to hear a year long lecture on the unnecessary useless expenses of that day, so all that effort will go vain. So for some quick tips, I have got you covered. A quick I love you text to mom and dad, a warm hug🫂, one meal of the day with them or any small help of yours that might make any of their task easier, is all a lot worth it.

Remember, it's never about the grand gestures, but life is all about enjoying the little things and making life worthwhile for people you love and care for by your mere presence.💗

It's important to note that so as to give or receive love, we first need to love ourselves and one should feel good about oneself; We can't pour from an empty cup⛾. To all those who feel they are worthless, unimportant, and not being loved, trust me that's not true. Many psychological studies have proved that being subjected to constant comparisons and criticism and lack of positive feedback & appreciation can rob us of our self worth & self esteem. Therefore in this world where we are constantly surrounded with negativity, it becomes very important to remember that these words don't define us and our self worth and self esteem lies in the fact of what we do and become in our lives and how satisfied we are with our definition of success. 

Now let's come to our most complex one, understanding Love...

FALLING IN LOVE, BUTTERFLIES, THE CUTE FIRSTS ETC.. 

All these sound good to hear but we know all of these are teenage escapades and a major part of adulting is when we realize it's no more so sweet or fascinating but a mere waste of emotions & it's  heartbreaking too. Moreover these are now replaced by some scaring GenZ terms and the modern day dating trends, like situationships, love bombing, manipulation, breadcrumbing, ghosting, gaslighting and oh my god what not.

HEARTBREAKS, TRUST ISSUES, INFIDELITY ETC. sound more familiar to us us now... :(

The very concept of so called falling in love, it just makes me wonder that where does that come from, shouldn't it be rising in love and not falling. Anyways, moving on.. 

In this generation of quick love & short attention span, it has just become so easier to fall in love, but what matters more is staying in love, and love is about putting in work and effort, not just one day but everyday. We turn people into our homes, then ending up being homeless. Why don't we rather try finding our home inside us, why don't we focus on finding peace in little things, moments, in this beautiful nature around us and not seek temporary joys surrounding any person? The pursuit of our happiness should not revolve around anyone and should not be about seeking love but giving as much love as we can, to this world and then eventually love will find it's way to us too. 

As soon as we hit adulting we realize that there is more joy in making others happy and giving them love rather than just expecting, which is what I believe the root cause of most sufferings and the prime reason why relationships in our lives are failing. 

Talking about the communication problems that we have even in any genuine connection, not being able to communicate our needs and setting some personal boundaries is tough. We don't realize that so many of our pettiest problems can disappear if we learn to communicate our feelings the right way and also be ready to resolve it.

👉Now another matter of fact is that as important as it is to speak, what's more important is empathetic listening. I know everyone here is simply an epitome of knowledge, but dear readers, I know that we all know everything and as much as there is a rush to speak cutting the other person's words off, it's more vital to let the other person speak & develop patience to hear all of it. Being all ears to any significant other in any of your relationships without any judgement is also crucial. Listening to them makes them feel heard & validated and that's what adds beauty to these relations.

Having said all this, even after all the effort and hard work you put to stay or make things work, if you still feel there is something that drains your emotional energy or the other person makes no effort, then as tough as it might be but be ready to let it go, for your own sake. Yes you read that right, it's crucial for all of us to know and accept that People change, we move on and that's how life happens.

Human Relationships are not about two perfect people, it's about two imperfect people coming together accepting each others' imperfections to make a perfect bond. It's about finding a balance; you see it's Relation-SHIP, so if any side dominates, your ship will sink. Don't let it overcrowd and don't let any other stranger misguide you, It's your ship, you are the captain, so take charge. No matter the rough weathers or harsh seasons of storms it might go through, constant efforts, determination and the right path will help you sail through.🚢🌊


💭Feel free to comment down how have your experiences been with relationships while growing up and what are your thoughts on this.🖋

💟Till then, Have a great time, Stay happy & Healthy. And even if life seems getting hard, don't be afraid, have faith, you're stronger & you've got this💫






                                                        Today's Good Thought💗

Just because you fit, doesn't mean you are in the right place. Recognize your worth and surround yourself with people who know how valuable you are.

                                                                               

                                                                                                                    ~Pavitra